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Publication: Skiing Magazine (feature, teased on cover)
It seems like there are ten times as many guys as women in ski towns. But ladies, don't be fooled by this seemingly target-rich environment. Many of us guys have become dejected by the ratio. We've given up, often after a long string of failures. We sometimes feel that the odds of hooking up are about as good as those of getting hit by falling airplane parts. In short, some of us need to be rescued. To enjoy the exquisite glories of the ratio, you may have to help us get the ball rolling.
The biggest thing to remember is to leave your inhibitions at home. Your time in the ski-town social scene should feel a bit like Vegas. Everyone is here to escape the working world and have a good time. To go to ski country and hold back is to miss out on some of life's greatest pleasures - such as yelling "Yeeow!" at the top of your lungs whenever you want.
A good place to start is on the hill. Contray to popular opinion, your skiing ability doesn't necessarily matter. Guys are not often looking for new ski buddies, but we are always looking for female companionship.
Take advantage of The Coincidence. You can, seemingly by chance, end up at the lift, on the trail, or in a sundeck lounger next to any guy who is skiing that day. Most of us have been shot down so many times that we can't believe you've done this on purpose; we assume it's just our dumb luck.
Ski lifts hold all kinds of possibilities. A maze of people moving slowly around each other allows for eavesdropping, views from all angles, and multipleopportunities for comfortable introductions. Shop for a hottie and flirt your heart out in line (hair tosses and dropped pole optional). To authorize the sale, meet him on the lift, at the top, or back at the lift line after the next run. And always keep your ears open for the truest mating call in all of sport: "sinGUL?!"
The top of the chair is a veritable meat market, with slabs unloading at regulat intervals. If you see something worth a closer look, tail him and his pals until they rest, or meet them back in the lift line. You now have something in common and can use it as conversation material ("How sick was that run?"). Or, follow the group, wait til they rest, then go smoothly by, showing you can hang. Because it really is true: There aren't as many turn-ons as powerful as watching a woman manhandle a mountain. Be wary of trying too hard, though, because a wipeout might make you look like a showboat with no game.
After a vigorous day in the open air, it's party time. Join in! If you didn't get a chance to blow by us on the hill, go flying by with a armloads of nachos and beer - you will impress. Celebratory fanfare (and food) will definitely get the boys coming over to your table.
If you and your girlfriends are being ignored, remember that mnost of the guys, especially the locals, are waiting for some sign of interest on your part. Be a tad more outgoing; rub elbows with a few. Remind these dunces that it was you who hung out with them on the hill or the sundeck.
Ask about our day of being manly on the mountain. We love to talk about skiing; it's the other reason we're here. If conversation slows down, offer to abuse a beer or shot with us. If the guy's a local, offer to buy his beer. Chances are that he and his 10 closest friends had a combined income of less than $100,000 last year.
In the hot tub, you should feel like any guy in the vicinity is there specifically to talk to you. Don't think that these bathing studs can't be approached. When there's so much skin exposed, formalities disappear. The beauty of hot tubbing is that conversation can start as benignly as, "Wow. This feels pretty good, eh?" And when necessary, you can always flash the eyes-closed-head-tilted-back sigh, which is sure to gain the complete attention of any male within sight.
At some point, worthy guys will want you to bring the party back to their condo or house. If you're interested, don't be afraid; you're not in Turkey. But be sure to screen their digs. Convince your girlfriends to come (safety in numbers), and definitely bring your own car.
And one last thing. You are sure to get some sales pitches that just don't fly. Please tread lightly on the tundra at high elevations. Keep in mind that you may be one of only a handful of females who this guy will have seen all week. Give him some hope: Introduce him to your girlfriends. At the very least, it'll be like watching a blind dog run into a wall.
© 2001 alex west writing and photography